"I left my conscience pressed between the pages of the bible in the drawer. what did it ever do for me? I say"

why does my life always have to be messed up in some way?
why can't I have peace for a while?
why can't I enjoy my life? be satisfied about it?
why do I have to be blue all the fucking time?
and feel miserable and useless and just want to die?

I only want my head to be quiet. for a little while.
otherwise I'm just gonna pop. literally.